through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
