Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
