So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize