come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
