Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
