I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She bit a glass in half.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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