id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
