chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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