I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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