Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize