Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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