lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
