I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
