and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
no you cant smoke seaweed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
