There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
