think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
