I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize