I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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