walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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