new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
