Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You made out with two different species that night
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
