so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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