WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
