drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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