We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
