on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
