I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
