I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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