his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
