Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
