yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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