Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The maid of honor just puked.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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