did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
