Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
