My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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