So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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