HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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