Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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