dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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