I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
