I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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