he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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