It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
