She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
