Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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