Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
