Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize