Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
