i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
