if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
