remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
