Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
