Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize