Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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