Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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