It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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