If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
