I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she peed on how many people?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
