alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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