I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
