goodnight i made you a song goodbye
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
