It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
