im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
