ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
