I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
