So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
